Rediscovering the Self
Have you ever felt like you give so much of yourself to others that you've lost sight of who you are and what you truly want?
In one of my earlier podcast episodes, 'Rediscovering the Self,' I spoke with Alison, a remarkable woman who made the difficult decision to leave an abusive marriage and pursue her dreams while also caring for her two children. Through her journey of self-discovery, Alison became a self-care and self-discovery consultant, empowering women who face similar struggles.
In this blog, we'll explore the power of rediscovering yourself.
Who holds the cards…is it really us?
We are 100% responsible for what happens in our lives and whether we allow negative behaviour to continue. We can’t dictate whether other people behave badly, but we can play a part in how we respond to it. It is all about choices.
Most of us have challenges and constraints to break free from. And often, our response to situations is based on previous life events. When we have time to review our reply, we nearly always end up with a different reaction – usually a less overreaction. I have been there, so I can relate…
I am sure I am not alone in my occasional hysterical outburst. However, I am relieved and proud to say that it rarely ever happens now because of the intense years of self-discovery and understanding the source of what used to trigger me.
If you find yourself becoming hysterical, it's worth remembering the phrase 'If you're hysterical, it's historical.' This means that the intensity of your emotions may be an indication that the issue you're facing is not just about the present circumstance, but also linked to past experiences or traumas that need to be acknowledged and addressed.
Choosing your path
This reflection can often be too little too late, but being able to reframe it can help us overcome the issues that made us react that way in the first place…and maybe next time, we will respond differently.
It can be easy to lose our identity when we get married, run a home or have children. We can forget who we once were. But because it happens so slowly, we don’t always notice until it becomes ‘the norm’. I bet you are nodding! It’s easy to slip into the cycle but hard to climb back out. I learnt over time that the only way to move on is to find yourself again. But we need to be proactive and get out there to do so. Thousands of women are in the same boat, all feeling the same things and seeking the same growth and change; it is about finding those people. Really think about what you enjoy and where that crowd would hang out because they will become ‘your tribe’. It is an exciting opportunity for personal growth.
Don’t give up on the end goal
It's important to remember that self-care is not just about bubble baths and massages. While those things can certainly be enjoyable, self-care can also involve making tough decisions and setting boundaries. It might mean saying no to social invitations when you really need some alone time, or setting limits with a demanding boss or friend. Self-care can also involve seeking help when you need it, whether that means seeing a therapist or asking a friend for support.
Another aspect of self-care is taking care of your physical health. This includes things like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. When we take care of our bodies, we are better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws our way.
It's also important to note that self-care looks different for everyone. What works for one person might not work for another, and that's okay. It's about finding what makes you feel good and taking the time to prioritize those things in your life.
Finally, it's important to recognize that self-care is an ongoing practice. It's not something that can be done once and forgotten about. We need to consistently check in with ourselves and make sure we're taking care of our needs. And if we do experience a setback or failure, we can use that as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than beating ourselves up over it.
Overall, self-care is essential for living a meaningful and fulfilling life. By taking care of ourselves, we are better equipped to show up for others and make a positive impact in the world. So go ahead and prioritize yourself – you deserve it!
If you would like to listen to the full episode of ‘Rediscovering the Self’ on my podcast Breaking Free, where I speak to my guest Alison Swerdloff about how she reclaimed her life back after an unhappy marriage, click here to listen on apple.